Truth Night
by Kerjen
Summary: The night on Ord Mantell before the bounty hunter came.


**Truth Night**

By Erin Kerry Blackwell

Growing up on Tatooine, Luke fantasized about an adventurous life as a pilot visiting exotic ports of call throughout the galaxy. Life as a Rebel changed all that. It had taught him that many ports were not exotic but dirty, dangerous places. Criminal overlords and the Empire locked the only desirable spots away.

Ord Mantell was typical of his experience. Filthy, stinking, dark, and dank with rain pouring down on them for hours now. The buildings were nondescript, except for the garish cantina signs luring the naive in with promises of illicit pleasures and the experienced with a shadowed place to deal in anything. 

Luke himself felt grimy, weary, damp and chilled to the bone. While he led a life he had always imagined, it wasn't the thrill a moment experience he had pictured. Dressed in a technician's coverall, all Alliance insignia removed, he kept his too noticeable lightsaber hidden in a leg pocket. His blaster was prominent on his hip ready to be drawn. It wasn't just for protection, but to serve as a warning for anyone who might consider him an easy target.

He stepped over another homeless body. That was another thing he hadn't considered on Tatooine. The streets and alleys were littered with people. Luke had always thought they were spacers on the losing end of some deal and a good number of them were. But he had also learned they were people who had lost homes, ships, and futures to the Empire and the criminals that abounded. His idealistic heart ached at not being able to help them.

Next to him, Leia was silent. She hadn't said anything since their rendezvous with an Alliance supplier. She probably felt like him, but didn't want to make mention of it. Leia didn't complain about the hard life they lead; she felt she couldn't. Too many looked to her to say it was all right, we'll survive, we'll make the best of it, and we'll win. Others could complain, make smart remarks and people could laugh or nod in agreement. But if Leia complained, people took it as a sign of deep disaster. So she kept silent. Han loved to note that she made up for it by complaining about him.

Her technician's garb was deliberately too large, the big cap holding all her hair up was pulled low to her eyes. Her own blaster was well seen by passersby. She was deliberately nondescript under the baggy clothes, so as not to be confused with the clear image on her wanted posters. Her Alliance contact hadn't even recognized her.

She stopped suddenly and Luke froze next to her. A vagrant had grabbed her leg, inadvertently revealing that she wasn't using half the room inside her damp jumpsuit. Luke thought the man was reaching towards her blaster and placed his hand on his own. But the man made no further move and instead jabbered in a language Luke didn't know. He saw a shutter fall over Leia's already poker face and wondered what the man had said that bothered her.

She leaned over to Luke, keeping her voice low for his ears only. "Give him what money you can, Luke." Surprised, he opened his mouth to protest. "Please. I'll pay you back." He flipped what credits he had into the man's hands and found his own gripped in thanks. Again the man spoke and Luke just nodded. Leia kept her face turned away. "Tell him," she said, "de zana e te lura." Luke repeated the words, noticing the man wasn't drunk or drugged but just dirty and in need of food. The vagrant kept speaking to him in that same unknown language, the despair in his eyes temporarily covered with thankfulness. He tried to rise but his legs wouldn't hold him. Luke tried to tell him to relax, but the other clearly didn't understand him. Luke frowned; they were going to draw attention.

Leia suddenly whispered to him, "Cover us, Luke. Try to block people from seeing me." Luke shifted his weight and pulled his arm away from the homeless man. He feigned disgust and looked around him but no one was watching. No one else saw Leia push her cap up on her head and pull the tech goggles from her face. And no one else saw the beggar peer at her intently for a small moment, then start to pull away with tears in his eyes and words that sounded apologetic to Luke. But the Princess took the man's hands in her own and whispered in his language. His hands squeezed hers, almost desperate not to let go. But he finally did. And Leia slipped her cap, goggles and poker face back into place.

Luke followed her as she walked away. A few steps away from the vagrant's hearing, she explained. "He's been trying to get work since his home was destroyed, but no one will hire him by an edict from the troopers. He doesn't speak much Basic." She paused. "You've probably guessed he's Alderaani."

He hated to ask, but... "Are you sure you should have told him who you were?"

"That's why I originally asked you to talk with him. But he was trying to tell you why he was begging for the money and I was afraid he would draw a crowd. Anyway, I wasn't so sure if knowing who I was would make it better." Seeing he didn't understand, she said "Some Alderaani are going to blame me for our homeworld's destruction, Luke. I didn't know if he'd be one of them. But thankfully" They walked another few steps in silence. He watched her jaw tighten against some words or some emotion. 

"There are Alderaani throughout the galaxy like him, caught off planet during Alderaan's destruction. Now they're favorite targets for the stormtroopers. They try to get money to find safer havens, but a lot of employers don't want the troopers coming down on them. It's difficult. And I can't help them."

It all made painful sense. Luke felt the familiar burn against the Empire. "We can talk to our Alliance contacts here. They'll help."

"Maybe, but some think an Alderaani employee is a beacon highlighting that they are Alliance supporters. I did tell him of someone who might help and a place he might be safe."

It was a bad day.

In the midst of it all, the _Falcon_ was a bright, secure haven. Approaching its docking bay, the Princess and Skywalker slipped into a port computer alcove, looking like any other technicians checking for ship's orders. Waiting, checking for people on their trail, Luke slammed a fist against the computer's panel as if angry at the speed, effectively playing his part while Leia checked a small scanner. They waited a few moments more until they felt sure their track was clean.

Now near the _Falcon_'s ramp, Luke slipped his hand around his neck, feigning an itch, and pressed a stud buried in his collar. The small transponder sent a recognition signal to the _Falcon_'s computer giving them access. He didn't know about Leia but he felt better as the ship's ramp closed behind them.

"There you are!" An exuberant Han popped up beside them, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders. "You're late! Chewie was worried."

"It took longer than we thought." Luke noted the bottle in each of Han's hands. "But it did work out--"

"Yeah, yeah, sounds good, kid." Han barreled through the corridors to the ship's communal room where a tangled-furred, bottle-swinging Chewbacca greeted the sight of them with a roar. "Here we go, Chewie! Told you I'd find them."

"What is going on?" Leia already felt pushed beyond patience's edge. This didn't look like something that would help.

"Party time, Princess! And you two almost messed it up by getting back late. Come on, shake the port off your shoes and jump in."

"Han," she started, "I don't know if I--"

"No choice, Your Highnessness. You're in."

"And if I say no?"

"Then it's off with your head! Chewie, bite her head off!" The Wookiee rumbled with laughter and aimed his fangs at the dark crown of hair. 

"We're in, " Luke said hurriedly. He didn't think Chewie would really bite Leia but that was under normal conditions. Being near the Wookiee and Corellian, he was sure he smelled some of the bottle's contents on them. "You started without us, didn't you?" he grinned.

"What were we supposed to do? Wait forever? Okay, let's get this going." He put his arms back around them and pulled them close, disclosing in a loud whisper, "Chewie's really glad you're doing this. It's a big deal for him."

"Why?" Leia asked, her nose wrinkling at his breath.

"It's a big Wookiee holiday today. Truth Night."

"Why didn't you say so?" she asked. "Of course we'll be a part of it."

"You sure, Your Regal? Wookiee holidays ain't something for wimps." 

"We said yes, Han. Just tell us what we should do."

"First of all, you shower. You stink, Princess."

She glared at him. "I'd argue but a shower sounds too good. I'll be back."

"Have a good time. We've even got hot water!" Han announced triumphantly.

Surprised, she said, "How did you manage that?"

Chewbacca, for whatever reason, found this funny. He roared with laugher, choking on his drink while Han responded, grinning broadly. "Bribe, sweetheart. A nice bribe to our friendly port authority. We stumbled across a little money and treated ourselves." Han turned to Luke. "You're next, kid. What did you two do? Slither through every trash pile?"

Leia walked away, heading for the crew area. '_Hot water_,' she thought. Something to soak into every pore and drive out the cold and grime was just what she needed. No matter how advanced sonic technology became, humans still wanted water showers. She might never come out from underneath it.

She entered the refresher and started the shower cycle. A pause and then water sputtered through the jets, turning into steady streams. She dropped the filthy coverall, hat and boots as quickly as she could, but her tired, cold numbed fingers fumbled with the different catches. She carefully placed the blaster within easy reach of the shower stall and slipped in.

The water was heavenly. It pounded into every muscle, washing away some of the tension. She lifted her face into the stream of water, letting it slide down her body while she thought about nothing.

Warned by a slight click of the door catch, she had her blaster aimed before the door opened. It was Han, peeking in, grinning like an idiot.

"Han!" It was a shout, a growl, and a fierce warning all rolled into the name. The stall door covered her to her shoulders but she didn't expect him to act so cheaply.

"Good reflexes, sweetheart, you'd have got me with the first shot. But relax. You got so much steam in here, I can't see anything through the fog."

"Which meant you tried."

"You should be glad I did. It'd be a real insult if I didn't. Here." He dropped a small pile of clothes on the counter. "I got you a towel and some clothes from your cabin."

Pleasantly surprised by the gallantry, she simply said, "Thank you."

"Yeah, well, don't think too much of me. In case you didn't notice, all the towels are gone in here. Chewie and I thought it'd be funny to see you make a mad dash down the hall but the kid's too nice for his own good. So I got these. The lock's sticking on your door again."

"That's because it's one of your rigged smuggling locks."

"That's because it's one of my rigged smuggling closets, Holiness. But you and the kid are two of the hottest things I've smuggled so it made sense to put you in them." He leaned against the open refresher doorway.

"Han," she said, testily, "Do you plan to stay here all day?" She knew the steam was blocking his view since she could barely see him through it. But she was acutely aware that she had nothing on and he was close within the confines of the small room. The moment, despite the banter, was tensely intimate and she was uncomfortable. The advantage was all his as he stood there clothed, the swirls of steam alternately hiding and revealing his face. A couple of steps forward and he'd be able to see her over the shower door. That smug grin, a bit drunken, galled her. This was not a port side pleasure dome and she wasn't one of the people for sale.

His face suddenly changed, the smugness gone, he looked She didn't know the word for it. She wondered if he could see her looking at him. The mood became more close and lasted one eternal second until he smiled again, not smugly but soft and friendly.

"The steam is going out the door," he said, in answer to her original question. "I figure I wait around and the sights will get better."

Not as angry anymore but still aware of the awkward situation, she said evenly, "Get out, Han." 

"It's still a compliment, Princess."

"I have my blaster, Han."

"Okay, okay. I'm going. No harm done." The door closed behind him and Leia had one small second to relax before he slammed back into the room. "Hey, Highness—"

"You're pushing it!" she yelled, getting angry again. Why did he always have to go too far?

"Relax. I'm being serious, see?" Some of the alcohol's slur was gone and his face did look serious. What she could see of it. "Listen, I know the water feels good and I'm glad you like it but Luke deserves some. Who knows, he might even enjoy it this time."

Yes, of course. Luke. Desert raised Luke who, after his first water shower, had felt so guilty for wasting the precious liquid. At least he no longer looked at her as some decadent being when she stayed in for so long. "I'll be out soon."

"Well, hurry up. You're holding up the party."

He left and the tension left with him. Still remaining was the emotional jolt, the intimacy and her pensive thoughts as she lingered under the shower. She shook it off, chiding herself for thinking of something he had already forgotten.

But he hadn't. He was yelling at himself for getting worked up over a woman in a shower, a woman he couldn't even see! Despite appearances, Han had rules for himself and one of them was not to let a woman get to him; especially one filled with idealism and an overblown sense of responsibility like Leia.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! What was he thinking, going in there? That she was going to welcome him with open arms? That she was going to be like the women he picked up so easily in port and at the Rebel Base and then said goodbye to just as easily? That she would ignore the fact that he broke into her privacy leered like an idiot, and pushed her when she was tired and on edge? 

But for a moment, even with the steam blocking her, he felt something come over them both. And it took his breath away.

He swigged from the bottle again. Forget it. He had messed up. She wouldn't forgive it and he didn't need the problems of having anything but a physical relationship. How many times did he have to remind himself of that? 

He found Luke and Chewie sitting around the chess table, Chewie alternating pulls on his bottle with bellows at Luke. But Skywalker just nodded and kept his peace. ' _He looks done in_', Han thought and wondered again if he should have gone with Luke and the Princess. Maybe he could have helped. But he had his own agenda to deal with in port and making contact with Jabba's organization was a priority. If only he could have settled things today. Instead, the damned slug had refused to talk, sending only a message that he'd give details on how to pay back the debt soon. Han didn't like it. He thought Jabba would just take the money with extra for the trouble. But this spoke of the Hutt being much angrier than the cash would placate.

He took another drink and the taste reminded him of buying the stuff and bribing the port authority for the water hookup. That would be something to surprise the Princess with later. It might make her laugh and forget the shower thing or she might kill him. "Hey, kid, Her Highnesship should be out soon."

"You left some clothes for her?"

"Yeah, yeah. You gotta get a better dirty mind, Luke. You're ruining half the fun." Han drank again from the bottle and thought again of Leia standing in the shower. Stupid move; stupid because he felt reduced to dirty schoolboy tricks and stupid because he had treated her with dirty schoolboy tricks. If she'd only give in without demanding something from him in return. "Uh, Luke? She might be... uh, pissed off, so be careful."

Luke's eyes narrowed, making Han sigh again. The kid was way too protective of her; he really should be more on the dirty schoolboy side. "What did you do?" He thought for a moment trying to think of what Solo might have tried. "You didn't go in there? Did you?"

"Me? You always think it's me. Do you know she almost took a shot at me?" He could hear the alcohol slurring his words again. And why not? It was supposed to be a party. Then the sound of the refresher door opening and of feet going towards his "guest cabins" made him look. Leia was turning into the small cabin and was clothed in the stuff he brought her but still, he stared at her door for awhile.

Finally, he turned, the grin laughing at the protective glare Luke aimed at him. "Your turn in the shower, kid."

Not too much later, the four gathered around the game table where Han had spread the party's buffet. Leia had changed from yet another tech jumpsuit into a soft casual dress, her hair down and still damp. She glared at Han, already uncomfortable after what had happened, and not happy that she was seated next to him. Thinking his open-mouthed gape was prelude to a smart remark, she declared testily, "I needed to feel a little more human, all right?" Han smirked and sat forward.

"All right, I'll explain this thing for Chewie. This is Truth Night. You get your family and friends together, you each take a turn standing up, tell each of the people what you admire about them, tell everyone a secret about yourself and then toast the group by taking a drink in their honor." 

Leia had to remark. "You added that last part yourself, didn't you?"

"I did not! This is a long-standing tradition. You go first, Chewie. It's your holiday."

The Wookiee stood up, bottle in hand, and faced Luke who was immediately to his left. He spoke long about his feelings towards Skywalker and then paused before facing the Princess across from him. Luke and Leia turned to Han waiting for a translation but Solo was nodding solemnly while drinking and offered no interpretation. "I knew we would need Threepio on this trip," Luke whispered across to her.

The rest of Chewbacca's turn went the same way. What words they knew didn't help them put together what he was saying. Han punctuated his comments with cheers and table banging until the Wookiee was finished and the Corellian slapped him on the back. "That was beautiful, pal!" They both raised their drinks and Luke and Leia followed them in drinking.

Leia almost spit it out. "Wonderful stuff, Han. Glad you bought the best."

Han remained standing. "Anything for you, Your Royalties. Okay, I'm going out of order just so you guys get another example of what you're supposed to do. First, Luke. You're a hell of a pilot, buddy. You've got great instincts and I'm glad you're covering my back. I wish you had a better survival streak though. I don't know why your head hasn't gotten blown off except for the fact that I've pulled your shorts out of the fire."

Leia leaned over to Luke. "Don't you feel all warm inside knowing that?"

Solo glared at her. "I wasn't done, Princessness. Anyway, kid, you've saved me too and I appreciate it. You're a good friend." Luke opened his mouth to say something, but Han faced the Princess. 

"As for you, Your Leadership, you've got guts. You give back as good as you get, sometimes better. You take no crap, not even from me. I actually like that. You're good in a fight and you can watch my back any day." He leered at her. " I know you'll like it."

Torn between being indignant at the innuendo and surprised that he had complimented her at all, she stood up to answer him but he shoved her back down. "Not now, Princess. Don't ruin the mood." He looked at the Wookiee and his face actually grew serious. "I don't have the words, partner. You know what I should say. So thanks." And he held his hand out as Chewie engulfed it in his grip. The Corellian then raised his drink. "Now for my secret." 

Leia didn't know she was holding her breath until she saw Luke was doing the same. Han's cloaked past: never spoken of, only slightly revealed by miniscule cracks in his armor. And now he would say what?

Solo grinned wickedly. "I'm going to tell you what Chewie said." He did, as the other two deflated, and much of it was what the Corellian himself had said except, as he noted, for the part where "the Princess likes to look me over." He ended it by dropping into his seat. "You're next, Luke. On your feet!"

Luke cleared his throat a bit and turned towards Leia. His open expression lacked the boy's crush of the past. Instead this man, her best friend, stood there. She saw again how much he had changed, and wondered if he had reached the same realization she had regarding their friendship. She hadn't broached the subject herself, almost afraid of hurting him and driving him away. "Leia, in a way, Han said what I wanted to. The words weren't great " he grinned. " But he's right. I like how you're strong, the way you keep going even when other people don't. It's helped me a lot. And I like how you've been there for me when I've been down and needed to talk. You've never let me down and I don't think you ever will."

She was overwhelmed. Despite Han's compliments, much of what he had said was banter and a lot of the atmosphere was joking. But Luke took this seriously.

"Thank you," she said and he smiled as he turned to Han.

"You _have_ pulled my shorts out of the fire, Han. Everyone here has. But what I admire the most about you is your confidence. You never doubt yourself, you always know what you can do. I'd like to be more like that. You're a good friend, Han, and you've taught me a lot."

"Thanks, kid." Han's answer seemed a bit hesitant as if he, like Leia, was surprised. 

"And Chewie, you always back us up even if you think we're wrong. You'll tell us we're wrong – loudly – but when it's time, you're there. And we all owe you a thank you for it." The Wookiee reached out and ruffled the young man's hair. Luke raised his glass. "Now my secret. I don't think I have any big secrets; I've told you everything about me that matters. So, I think all I can say is you can trust me with your secrets. I promise to keep them."

He drank and the others quietly joined him. He sat down, a bit uncomfortable about how he sounded, hoping they understood why he had said so much. He never got a chance to thank his foster parents for all they did for him and the same was true for Kenobi. He had his chance to let these three know what he felt and he was taking it.

Leia sensed his discomfort, so she smoothly rose to her feet. She had revised what she originally planned to say. Since Skywalker had been truthful with her, she would be the same. "That makes it my turn. Luke, since you just spoke, I'll start with you. You don't have to look at anyone else to learn good qualities. You're brave, talented, loyal to all of us and you've been my anchor in all of this. I always know you'll be there for me. Who else would have run into that prison cell just because he felt he should?" She gave Han a pointed look, which he only laughed at. "And sometimes, I believe you almost know my thoughts and feelings before I do. Maybe it's because we have a lot in common. The same ideals, the same beliefs..."

"You're both short," Han said.

Chewie asked something she didn't understand. She looked at Han. "Something about time?"

"Yeah," he answered. "He says he knows your birthdays are only a day apart. What time of day were you born? Wookiees think the time of day is important; different parts of the day mean different things."

"I was born at night," she said. "Actually, late at night, almost the next morning."

"That's when I was born," Luke said. "Very early in the morning."

Han grinned. "Right on her tail, huh kid?" Luke blushed at the remark and cursed himself for still getting riled by the Corellian. 

Leia kicked Solo under the table. "Ow!" he yelped, grabbing at his ankle. "Nice one, Princess."

Leia looked at Luke. "My father always said I couldn't wait for the next day to come. I had to sneak one more thing into their schedule by being born so late in the day."

Luke laughed. "My uncle always said I was too anxious for trouble. As soon as it was technically morning, I was out and looking for something to get into."

Han cleared his throat. "Her Smallness has forgotten that she's supposed to say something good about me."

"Aren't you going to tell us what our birth times mean?"

"That'll be the secret we tell you the next Truth Night. Come on, tell me something nice." After all, he thought, she had gushed about Luke. He deserved equal time.

"I think whatever I find good about you will be the secret I'll keep." Amazingly, she saw a hurt expression cross his face before he turned away, grabbing for his drink. Her anger deflated at the sight. "But I wouldn't want to be the one to break with Chewie's holiday." She licked her lips and played with her glass, stalling for time. What to say? He wasn't going to be happy with her being flippant, even though he had been that way himself. The evening's tone had changed since then and she was stuck with not being able to pass over him lightly and not wanting to reveal too much. How could she tell him how she felt? She wasn't sure herself. She never let herself really think about it. Any time she got comfortable with him, he pulled the ground out from underneath her. What could she say that wouldn't leave her open to him mocking her?

"You constantly surprise me, Han," she finally said. "Every time I think I have you figured out, good or bad, you do something I never would have guessed; like the way you came back for Luke over the Death Star and the way you helped us out so many times." They were staring at each other and she could see in those depths how he wanted her to say more, to be the one who stepped past the barriers they had between them. But she couldn't make herself vulnerable to him just so he could take off with a laugh at having kept his own shields up. "I'm glad there's more to you than a mercenary attitude." 

She hurriedly spoke to Chewbacca, breaking that heart-stopping lock with Han's eyes. "And Chewie, I also admire your loyalty and your sense of friendship. Tonight's holiday is something I wish I could have shared with my own family." Her grip on her glass tightened but she lifted the drink to them. "In that spirit, I'll tell you my secret." A part of her screamed to keep silent. After all, hadn't she just thought of not trusting Han with her feelings? How could she trust him this?

But Luke's words to trust _him_ echoed louder than that voice. And while she wouldn't admit to more – neither would Han – she'd admit to their friendship and how much they had been through together. She did eye him and said, "This is important. No one knows this except me and previously, my family. You have to keep this to yourselves." 

Luke nodded solemnly, as did Chewbacca. Han watched her and the electricity flickered between them. "I promise."

She took a deep breath and stared into her glass. "I wasn't born Leia Organa." She took in their confused glances. "I was adopted by the Organa family as a baby. I knew my birth mother for awhile, but not my father. He was killed in the Emperor's fight to take over the galaxy. My mother was someone he was hunting, so she took me to the Organas for my safety. I always had some familial resemblance to them so no one ever questioned that I wasn't born one of them. And they were my family. I loved them." 

She felt like crying and was angry at the feeling. What was wrong with her today? The whole day she had felt out of sorts, out of control. Then that moment with Han made her so aware of him sitting next to her. Every time he looked her way, she felt confused.

She felt Luke's steadying hand on one arm and then Han's on the other. She gave them both a watery smile. "Maybe that's another reason we understand each other, Luke." 

To Han, she said "And aren't you glad you don't have to call me Princess anymore? Not that or any of the other names you've called me."

Chewbacca's hand was on her glass, filling it. Han caught on to the Wookiee's intention first and raised his bottle, toasting her. "Here's to you, Princess." he said simply and Luke and Chewbacca immediately echoed him.

She paused, then clinked her glass against theirs. "And here's to all of you."

She sat down, drained and then anxiously gazed at Han as he still stood. "I cheated," he said. "I should have been honest like you guys but I kidded around." He actually looked guilty and banged the bottle down on the table. "Okay, here's the truth!" He took a deep breath. "I took money from Her Wealthy's cabin. That's how I bought the hot water and the booze."

Leia stared at him. "What money?"

"I was fixing your door lock and found this cash box in your cabin. I thought what the hell, if you needed it for your deal you would have taken it with you. So I took it instead. Come on, Princess. You can have it back. I was just kidding. Have a sense of humor."

She surprised them all by laughing. "Oh, you're the one who'll need a sense of humor. You know how we're paying you for this trip with half up front and half when we return to base? Well, guess what you just stole?"

He gaped. "Oh no."

"I deliberately left it laying around." She grinned at him. "Just to see how honest you are."

"Pretty dirty trick, Princess."

"As bad as walking in on someone in the shower?"

Luke laughed. "Hope you enjoyed the money, Han."

"Not as much as before," Solo grumbled. It wasn't half as much fun now that he was supposed to have it instead of swiping it from her. All his pranks were blowing up in his face tonight. "Well, since I'm telling things anyway, I guess you should know this too. Tonight's not Truth Night. We lied."

"What?" Luke asked.

"There isn't any Truth Night. We made it up." He hated their incredulous looks. "Look, it's not my fault! We were just looking to have some laughs. I didn't know you'd get so serious about it." 

"You told us it was a sacred holiday!" Leia yelled. "Something we should take seriously. We stood here and told you all of those things and you didn't stop us! How dare you!"

"I said I was sorry."

"I'm not." Luke interrupted. They both turned unbelieving stares at him. "I feel a bit dumb that I fell for it, but I'm glad I said what I did. I should have told you it before and tonight gave me the chance." 

Han, still a bit uncomfortable, took the chance to smooth things over. "Well, there you go. Thanks, Luke, for seeing the bright side of this. How about it, Princess?"

"Well" She wasn't sure if his using her title was a hint but if she put her anger aside -- finally, she said with conviction. "Luke's right. I'm glad I said what I did. And if this isn't a holiday, it should be."

"Maybe for the Alliance," Luke said. "We need some holidays."

She smiled. "I know some of the secrets people in the Alliance staff are hiding. You don't want to hear them."

Luke thought of Rogue Squadron and the things whispered between them. He grinned. "You're right."

"All right! This truth stuff isn't so bad. I knew you'd see it my way." Han dropped back into his seat and leaned his feet on the table edge.

Leia slapped at his boots. "Get your feet off the table."

Luke, still grinning, stood up. "Where you going, kid?" Han asked. 

"I'll be right back. Someone has to check the sensors." Chewbacca said he'd help and the two of them stumbled towards the cockpit. Leia gazed at them worriedly.

"All right, I see that look," Han said. "What's the problem?"

"I'm not so sure they're clearheaded. Maybe I'd better I go with them. I've hardly tasted my—"

"Don't worry about it. This stuff burns off fast. That's why I got it. The taste isn't the greatest, but it leaves your senses where they should be. You have to drink a lot to keep a steady buzz."

"Then I can guess how much you had."

He laughed. "Probably not as much as you think. I'm not stupid." He leaned closer to her. "Hey, I am sorry about this Truth Night thing. I really just thought it'd be fun." He didn't mention that, during the brief time the alcohol had an effect on him, he had thought he could get out of her how she felt about him - anything, some sign. If nothing else, they'd have some laughs. Maybe if she and the kid had drunk more.

"I know and Luke is right. As long as it isn't abused."

"You didn't have to say that." Solo slid around the bench, closer to her, and turned a bit sideways so he could face her. He looked so boyish as he grinned that she didn't feel wary of his being so near. "So, you want to tell me more about how you feel about me?"

"With or without cursing?" It actually felt good having him almost teasingly close. His tone was joking and friendly, making it one of the moments where they relaxed around each other.

"Depends on the cursing. Anything I'd like?"

It was her turn to grin wickedly. "It doesn't start with For a good time, call' if that's what you're hoping."

"Damn. And I'm so flattering about you when I put your name on fresher walls."

"Oh, so that's where you're honest? Writing pornography on refresher walls?"

"It's not pornography! It's an honest description of someone I know." He paused thoughtfully. "Now, the drawing with it is pornographic."

"I really hope this is just more of the fun you had planned for tonight."

"Want to hear what else I have planned?"

"You have a one way mind, Han."

"Then tell me your plans for fun."

"And feed that ego? Never."

"Come on, say one thing."

He was smiling down at her. "Well, the drink is having a beneficial effect on you. You're actually enjoyable company."

"So are you, Princess. You haven't been this much fun since we were stuck on Queid and you were forced to cook."

"Ouch." She laughed. "You haven't been this much fun since" She furrowed her brow in concentration and let the seconds tick by.

"Very funny, Your Highness. Big joke."

"Are you ever going to call me by my name?"

He grinned. "With or without cursing?"

"I don't think we're having fun anymore."

"Liar." Han leaned closer. "You're enjoying this." 

"As much as you? Impossible."

He laughed softly. He liked the way she was smiling at him, how relaxed she was with him, how good she looked in the simple dress, warm and feminine. And how quickly she joked with him, made him laugh. When she dropped those shields of hers, he enjoyed being with her more than any woman he knew. He wished she did it more.

She was thinking of how much she liked being with him when he wasn't cynical and when he traded his insults for banter. She liked how his eyes were lit warmly and how, when he opened up, she enjoyed being with him more than she ever thought she could. If only he'd do it more.

He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, his fingertips drawing softly across her cheek. The jolt of the touch startled them both and the light teasing disappeared. She slowly turned towards him, his hand still cupping her cheek. Leia felt her breath slow and deepen and Han swore the leap he felt in her pulse quickened his own heartbeat.

It was a long, gripping moment. Then Han tightened his fingers and slowly pulled her towards him. And Leia let herself be drawn.

Chewbacca roared something to Luke in the corridor and the sound jerked them apart. The Wookiee barged into the room and saw them as they first stared at one another then up at him. As Luke entered, Leia looked away, reaching for her drink and using the movement to draw away from Han. Chewbacca growled questioningly at Solo, knowing what he saw. But the Corellian scowled at him, refusing to answer and watched as Skywalker sat back down in his seat. Even though Leia had moved away, Solo hadn't, leaving him still very close to her. And he deliberately stayed where he was, wanting to know if Luke would get jealous or angry or... whatever. He needed to know where Luke stood with Leia. The Princess was looking at the Jedi now, but Han couldn't see her expression and Skywalker was still not reacting at all.

"Everything's clear out there," Luke said. "Something good finally happened today. The rain even stopped."

"Really?" Leia asked. "Maybe I'll go up top, get some fresh air."

Han got to his feet. "That sounds good. Let's go." Chewbacca immediately got to his feet as well, saying they should all go. He laughed at Solo's expression. Sometimes it was a lot of fun baiting the Corellian. 

Luke stood up as well and moved to let Leia out. "So much for Truth Night," he laughed.

"Oh, I'm telling the truth," Leia said. "I want some fresh air. I'll meet you three in a minute. I need to make sure the arrangements are ready for tomorrow."

Han started to say he'd wait for her, but gave up. She was already leaving, not looking back at him. Damn, why was he letting her get to him?

He led the way through the top hatch and threw his vest down to have a dry seat. It was an open hanger bay and there was a fresh breeze. Luke dropped down nearby and Chewbacca sat on Han's other side. Solo glowered at his partner who grinned back. The Wookiee was deliberately screwing his chances to get the Princess closer to him than Luke. He might have to push Chewie off the side. 

Luke lay back and stretched out. "You were right, Han, about needing a break. What a lousy day."

"I thought you said things went all right." The Corellian was still sending silent signals to his partner about his impending doom.

"It did but everything was just hopeless for a while. But, maybe things are finally looking up."

"Don't count on it, kid. We're still moving to that snowball the Rebels have picked for a new base. You might be looking forward to calling that home, but I'm not."

Luke grinned. "Are you saying your home's with the Alliance?"

That snapped Han's attention on him. Leia chose that moment to make her entrance, laying a cushion down to sit on. "Afraid to bruise your posterior, Princess?"

"Jealous that I have less of a built in cushion than you?"

"So you _have_ been looking to see what I got."

Luke deliberately cut in. "I don't think anyone here wants to know _that_." He laughed as the Corellian flipped him an obscene finger gesture that was kept from Leia's sight.

Han smirked. "It's a hell of a holiday."

"For a fake one." Leia was looking up as the twilight ended and the stars began to show. "It gave us a good ending to a bad day."

Han stared at them. "Do you and Luke pass notes on what to say?" 

Luke answered her questioning look. "I just said the same thing when you came up."

She nodded and then placed her chin on her raised knees. A small breeze drifted over them all. Both Leia and Luke closed their eyes, letting it play over them. Han watched them. They matched each other so easily, so effortlessly, while he and Leia were in a constant battle of wills. For the first time in a long while, he felt cut off. Even worse, the feeling _bothered_ him, bothered him a lot. He watched the younger pair, thought of what they said to him earlier, and thought of Leia's eyes, how they had changed from wariness to trust to warmth as she spoke. She had been so heart-stoppingly near before Chewbacca had interrupted. He really wanted that despite all the times he told himself he didn't.

"All day I kept thinking of what I don't have," Leia said quietly. "Tonight I looked at what I had."

"Sometimes," Luke said, "you need to do that. Right, Han?" He opened his eyes and looked over to the Corellian. 

Han was sitting there, staring off into space, strangely silent. He finally dropped his gaze to Luke's. "Yeah, kid. I know what you mean." Chewbacca caught the tone and was the only one, a little while later, who was not surprised when the smuggler stood up and went inside.

The next morning, Luke took off with the first supply flight out, headed for Hoth. Leia remained behind on the _Falcon_ wanting to make sure nothing went wrong with the rest of the shipment while Han carefully watched out for her. He lay awake for so many nights afterwards, cursing himself for not getting her on a supply ship despite her protests. Luke would have backed him up and Leia wouldn't have been around when the bounty hunter came for him. He was escorting her back to his ship when the hunter struck.

The first shot went past him and for a sickening moment, he thought it struck her. But she had whirled with him, the shot scorching her jumpsuit but not wounding her at all. His feint had warned her and she had her blaster out firing as she moved. Han never knew if it was her shot or his that brought the bounty hunter down. He only remembered yelling to his partner in the comlink and hearing that the area around the ship was clear. Leia was running at his heels, somehow keeping up with his longer legs, spinning occasionally to check their backs as he watched for further trouble ahead of them. Chewbacca had the _Falcon_ prepped to go and their takeoff started before the hatch closed behind the Princess.

After that, during the move to Hoth and the first few nights there, he went over and over it. She almost died for him that day. Again, he almost lost her as they had almost lost Luke too many times in the past. And Han now knew he was losing himself to them.

Luke and Leia's words kept coming back. He once had everything he ever wanted and lost it. He couldn't have that pain again.

So he came in from helping Luke place sensors on Hoth, went to Riekkian and gave his resignation. And when Leia asked why he had changed his mind, her hurt causing that wall of ice between them, he blamed the bounty hunter while all along he _knew_ it was a lie. When he counted what he had, other than Chewie and the _Falcon_, there could only be him alone. That is what he would have told her, if he had told the truth.


End file.
